Identity

I went to see a movie last night with my sweetheart of 21 years and our 16 yr old son.  It was a good movie but not one I would have thought would be something I would have thought funny or worth my time.  I'm pretty particular about the types of movies I see.  It was after the movie, on the car ride home, that a thought occurred to me.  I was thinking about how much my identity has been wrapped up in my children over 20 years and how hard it was to have that ripped away from me last year.  They were like my security blankets and gave my life structure and purpose.  They were my routine.  As they were growing up I was so busy working and earning a living when they became teenagers I never prepared for their departures.  With my Songbird gone the Gamer is next.  I hope I fare better when he leaves then when she did.  I hope the people he listens to are a better caliber of people than the ones who advised her out of the nest.  I now realize that both the Songbird and Gamer need to be away from me and stretch their wings and grow.  I realize that I will have a new security blanket with me.  A little older, a little grayer but one that loves me and has been with me for the past 21 years.  I'll grow old with him until one of us is taken away by death.  My identity will be different and that's ok.  It's just about recognizing the changes and making them ok instead of overreacting as I've seen others do.